25th

***
24th
***
Brother: aaahh! i still don't have a gift!
Me: For me?
*silence, i think he didn't hear what i said
Brother: Tomorrow's the 25th!It's our monthsary! What shall i give her?
Me: Aah..
Brother: AH, F*** it's your birthday!
Me: i know right!
Brother: Sorry, I forgot...

*shrugs
***
23rd

***
She sit steadily while the jeepney strode off under the heavy pouring rain. After glancing at her watch, she accidentally gazed at this guy seated 10 o'clock from her left. Time seemed to stop at the moment their eyes met. She smiled at him unconsciously and thoughts crossed her mind, nasty thoughts she thought those were. The young man held his gaze while she scrutinized the outline of his face. Perfect face, she thought, perfect smile. Her heart beat faster trying to control herself from giggling. She knows she's blushing that's why she tried to cover her face with her right hand. The young lad looked away with a nod then started to stare at the rain. She hurriedly looked down not to embarrass herself with the idea that she made him feel uncomfortable. Seconds later, they were playing a nasty game, now, they both have something to ponder on, something more important , something that kept them from staring at each other's eyes.

The gushing wind whistled along with a manly but soft voice. It was him, telling the driver to stop the vehicle. She immediately looked at his face seemingly disturbed, asking why; why it has to end this way. She didn't even get his name she thought. The answer was a blank stare with a short smile and then he left.

*shrugs

Filipino Microcosms

i went to bed last night at 1 in the morning, getting ready for the fieldtrip that was supposed to start at 7:30. Good god, our professor arrived at 8:30. Hell yeah, we waited for an hour, i should have slept for another 30 minutes or cooked my breakfast!

honestly, i don't wanna talk about the augustinian church nor the fort santiago. I just want to share how the huge MALL of ASIA became our target observatory for this specific issue, filipino microcosms. It was such a lame excuse for having us stay there! if we know it right, it was just a time for them to relax and get away of their respective officeworks. Anyhow, i enjoyed giving my feet calluses , strolling around the mall, eating ice cream and consciously blabbering about how the tycoons shop in the middle of the day.Too bad for me, i saw only 3 groups of what i could tell tycoons. Those with huge bags of nike, guess, and louis vuitton. whatta?!
Oh well, if i remember it right, it was in the second floor when i happened to lure about this stuff. Why in this world would you find all the expensive signatured stuff lined up in the upper floor and most specifically in the least exposed corners of the mall? why do mass-oriented boutiques line up at the ground floor? why do the most expensive restaurants and food services found at the upper level while fastfoods are found in the basement? I could just observe rich kids on the escalator pointing to restaurants such as gumbo while holding their venti starbucks coffee, cuddling their louis vuitton bags and wearing their guess shades. On the other hand, those who are on plain shirts and jeans are running around with their rubber shoes finding less seated fastfoods carrying their knapsacks and tinkering with their less-than-the-N-series nokia phones. From this point,those who are blessed enough start going up while those who aren't stays on the ground- a very familiar illustration of how the society works. Tycoons continue to stay at the top, lying in their beds of green and blue bills , splurging every thousand in luxury while the poor stays to be hopeful, gripping their coin purse and trying to figure out the best way on how to spend each peso wisely. What should we do to stop this? is there something we could do to help?

I am so disappointed that i could not answer these questions at this point because i know, i , too know that i'm in the verge of a crisis. Maybe i should stop philosophizing at this time of the day. It's just not to apt for me to do this. I guess it's enough that i finally realized this thing: being in MOA for 3 hours doing nothing is more likely 3 hours of philosophizing. NOw that makes sense.

Resurrection

Monday
I showed up during the Bio Majors' Day and after minutes of waiting for the game, it was not pushed through. Now what would i expect? yeah dear, a throng of roving eyes which seemed to pierce every bit of me, i don't know if they're trying to drive me insane or maybe it's just their nature to gaze at people like that. god! How should i belong? what should i feel? ha ha,funny but i think i am paranoid, terribly crazy.

And oh, before i forget, the rookie has at last played her first game and it was a nice match. Got in on the second set after staying at the bench watching her team topple down the opponents'.Victorious as it may sound, yet, we haven't secured a slot for the semis. Too bad, i guess we just keep our fingers crossed for the mean time.

Yes, I am alive once again, building up my dreams even though i haven't gotten any of what i wanted to get in the first place. God made me realize i was already being too anxious that i tend to loosen my grip from my faith, from everything that are supposed to be given to me if only i had listened, if only i kept my faith , if only i kept on holding on to Him, to my God.

Now, i am still praying hard that things will get better, that i will finally be zapped back, that i will once again be His servant, faithful and worthy enough to receive His blessings.

Bannuar Has Come back for more!

Brainstorming for the DTIC , Leaders' Forum and other projects for next semester started yesterday.

I was tasked to draft the mechanics for the debate tournament. How exciting! Wee!! the venue? Baguio baby! Baguio!

Cruela De Ville has come back

Minutes ago, i was answering the darn laboratory exam. Minutes ago, i was confused, i was asking myself what went wrong. I was not satisfied with my answers, i know somehow they're wrong but at some point they're right. I was frustrated knowing that i know i've prepared for this exam. Or perhaps did i?

Minutes ago, i saw myself once more craving for some enlightenment. Why does life need to be like this, you do your best and yet the universe conspires to make you fail. Why do people try to become the shadow whenever you try to become the hero of the day? why does the shaman go on the other side when in fact she must be my hermit in this battlefield?

Mrs. Mcgonagail disappeared during the time i need her most. She presented herself well during the first day and promised to take care of me during the whole span of my stay in Hogwarts. Yet, during my battles she was not there. What i see is a monster, consciously laughing at me and her doomed students during her examinations. I see Cruela De Ville in her, the egoistic monster who earns thousands of peso and in turn curses her students for no valid reasons at all,not a single one, none. Yes, the Devil has come back, and she came back for more.

As i was scrutinizing the creature drenched in formalin in front of me, Cruela approached me and smiled sarcastically. Why? She tried to peek at my answers and i covered them. I do not want to be humiliated in front of the class once she sees whatever wrong i may have written on the paper. As i cover my paper, she gave me a strange look, something I've never seen before. Painful enough to make sick, horrifying enough to drive me insane and most of all, evil enough to curse me to hell.

I know it's not my fault. I studied well. Maybe it was due to my disappointment in the lecture exam that made me frustrated all throughout the course. Or maybe, my subconsciousness tells me to get mad because frankly, the questions in the laboratory exam are the questions she never dared to ask us. Those are the hidden questions at the back of her mind which she suppressed in order to leave us clueless, I know. I may not be the best student for her but who cares? She's not my best teacher either. She's one of the worst. The sinister in her personality will never make me comfortable but rather will make my life miserable. She meant to kill not only me but the whole class. She meant to leave us dumbfounded at the midst of the exam. She meant to make us suffer.The reason? Still left unexplained. She did not teach us the what's and why's of things not because she doesn't want to but because she doesn't know anything! Worse,she tries to impress us and she always fails.She tries to sound noble and genius but it doesn't suit her. She tries to let us do whatever she says yet, she doesn't even know how to do it. She has the authority but she doesn't have the wits. She's a miserable creature. She doesn't belong to the institute. She should not be here in this institution.

Right now i already accepted the fact that i won't go higher than the exemption grade or worse, i will not be exempted. She's happy now seeing me and the others lament on this failure. Yet, we won't be moved and we'll make sure she'll suffer all the consequences. She just have to wait for the verdict, the bells will soon ring and she'll be beheaded. She must start praying hard, the earth shall swallow her alive. sounds evil? she's more evil than my thoughts in mind. She's the Devil and no one will go beyond her evilness. The light will soon come and we'll be delivered. We'll be the heroes of the day when we sign the manifesto. She'll be left unaided. We will conquer this fight.